I don't mind being busy ("better busy than bored" is a phrase in frequent rotation) as long as I have the time to take care of myself appropriately. Mostly it's a question of making time for myself. What a concept - "making time." Wouldn't it be grand to just whip up a batch of it and dole out as necessary? As it is, my workday involves at least 2 hours of time that I'd rather be spending in a number of glorious and relaxing ways. Instead, I fight traffic. I'm numb to it, after 8 years in Los Angeles, but I've only recently realized that the people I admire for getting so much more done in their days... they possibly have a half-hour commute total, if that.
On the up-side, I do try to use that commute time wisely. In times of high stress or low confidence, I play my "centering/energizing" playlist to give myself a boost. From time to time, I listen to audiobooks or podcasts. Today, though, I listened to an album I recently purchased to help me get in the Film Noir frame of mind. It's called "Murder Is My Beat: Classic Film Noir Themes and Scenes." I heard a doozy of a scene this morning, from Crossfire. It has the kind of clipped, clever dialogue we're trying to capture in our fourth-grade Private Eye Sam's "noir-view" voice-over... but it's definitely not Sam-appropriate, heh. To wit:
BAR PATRON
What did you say your name was?
GINNY
Ginny. Because I'm from Virginia. I sure get tired of it here.
BAR PATRON
What do you work here for, then?
GINNY
For laughs, dear. For laughs.
BAR PATRON
Every night?
GINNY
Every night. Tonight.
BAR PATRON
Til when?
GINNY
Til we close.
BAR PATRON
Then what?
GINNY
Me and myself and my great big bed - we sleep.
I could have killed my girlfriend the other morning, she -
BAR PATRON
You got that in quick, didn't you?
GINNY
Drink up and be nice.
BAR PATRON
You know what I'd like to do?
GINNY
Mm-hmm.
BAR PATRON
I'd like to take you dancing.
GINNY
That's what the music's for. I work here.
BAR PATRON
I mean, really take you dancing. The two of us going somewhere.
Eating something. Talking about ourselves.
GINNY
Heh.
BAR PATRON
I'm serious.
GINNY
Sure, I know. I remind you of your sister.
BAR PATRON
You remind me of my wife.
Now, if we can take that pace and syncopation, and add it to our tales of dames with cooties and stolen stuffed penguins, we'll be in good shape.
I'm a bit frustrated that we didn't get to write this morning. It all comes back to time, and use of time. I am working so hard at being balanced (and it's hard work!) but my recent attempts to bring social outlets back into the mix has already given my internal teeter-totter a good jostling. Visiting friends Sunday night (and going out for a lunch meeting Monday) meant that I didn't take my usual weekly food-prep hour after Mad Men. Going out last night (for a networking-type social meeting) meant that I was short on sleep and once again didn't get the food-prep hour in. And forgetting to set the alarm this morning meant that I had two choices once I woke up: spend the hour writing, or spend the hour on food prep. I went back to my LCD list: my list of lowest-common-denominator tasks that I have to complete in order to stay balanced and healthy. Healthy food prep and consumption, and taking meds on time, those are the absolute lowest of the common denominators... that is, they're of highest importance. So we skipped writing, and I chopped my veggies and wrapped my wrap, and it meant that today I was able to eat my small, regular meals with no time lost spent worrying about getting out (or fussing over calorie count) during the hours that rushed by me at work.
Water is on my LCD list, too. Water to drink, and water to swim in. Unfortunately, both are unaddressed today. That carafe of lime-mint water I mentioned yesterday? It is, hands-down, the biggest visual clue that I'm taking good care of me. It means I left promptly, I brought my lunch, I stopped responding to clients for long enough to prepare and fill my pitcher. When I look down, and that glass looks cool and inviting... I know I'm doing a good job with myself. Do you know what that glass of water looks like today? Lime and mint are decaying in a glass that has been sitting there since Friday. It's disgusting. And it's a pretty clear picture of just how much I've been rushing and neglecting, due to two school nights spent out, in a row. Lest I forget: excepting rare special occasions, school nights are for regrouping and gathering zen... and that's OK.
Can't wait to share with you what we're working on (and what we presented during that networking-type time yesterday.) I may have recently sent you a Facebook recommendation for the indie film Night of the Alien. This is another project I've been quiet about. I've been working on pro-bono marketing for this cult-style flick; Tom and I have been collaborating on the trailers. (The teaser has been released already, but we didn't work on it.) Just wait until you see it. Some of Tom's best editing work, I think. We'll be posting it... all in good time.
Can't wait to see Night of the Alien! Looks interesting! Let me know when I'll be able to see it!
ReplyDelete