At long last, Weigh-In Tuesday

It's Weigh-In Tuesday - or WIT, if you will - and I don't feel like I have any good wit to offer today.  But here I am, for the second consecutive day, writing anyway.

Now that it's day 2 of my TV fast, I'm beginning to run out of cleaning projects, so I'm going to have to get more creative.  This is exactly what the fast is designed to do - drag me kicking and screaming from my stasis.  But it's mental fists a-flyin' while I try to punch my way out of my rut.

Wanna guess what else is in a rut?   The scale.  The holiday season was tough, but I thought I got through it OK.  When I hopped back on the scale upon my return, it was up ten pounds from before I left.  That is a terrifying feeling - knowing how hard you've worked to move in one direction, and how long it took.  And seeing it reverse in a matter of days.  I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I didn't like it.

I've lost about four pounds since that weigh-in.  My progress is compounded, I'm sure, by the lack of exercise.  As I've mentioned before, I've haven't been exercising (flu, depression, flu, simultaneous surgery recovery and depression) all year with the exception of one week between the first depression and the second flu.  And I am STILL not healed enough to work out today.  It's really bugging me that it's taking so long.

Food hasn't been ideal, either.  Not terrible, but not mindful.  It's been a little too erratic -- waiting too long to eat and getting too hungry, for instance.  I'd indulge in a craving moderately, but indulge another craving the next day.  That adds up.  So although I'm down from where I was at the beginning of the year, I feel frustrated with myself.  And when I feel frustrated with myself, I talk shit about myself.

Hell, I talk shit about myself even when I feel good.  An example.  This Christmas, I had a blast playing Just Dance III with my nieces and nephews.  It was great to get moving after holiday meals, and dancing is such a playful way to connect with family.  I was kicking butt (I am seriously good at it) and after awhile, I got warm and wanted to remove my jacket.  But it meant that I'd be shaking my arms to the beat, and I know what that looks like in the mirror... I spent three days a week at Slimmons last year, watching my arms jiggle in the mirror.  And as I lost progressively more weight, the jiggling didn't get better... it got worse.  You see "before/after" pictures everywhere you turn (lately even on billboards) but you don't hear so much about the challenges of skin and sagging.  Which, with 70(-minus-twelve) pounds lost, are now my challenges.  So, as I took off my jacket, I tried to make a joke about it.  "OK, everybody.  Flying squirrel alert!"  I got some puzzled looks, so I explained that my upper arms sag, that if I jumped, I could fly like a flying squirrel.  I expect laughs.  All I got was some firm eye contact from my niece M, who pointedly asked me to cut out the negative self-talk. So wise for a thirteen-year-old.

It hit me hard.  It's true... sometimes I make jokes about myself, and it's one way I can make light of life when it's challenging.  But it's also one way I can tear myself down.  And I need to stop tearing myself down.

That's why, this week, I'm working on building myself up.  Turning off the TV and the phone.  Cooking and savoring healthy and nourishing meals. Writing, on the blog and for my portfolio. Centering. Generally turning on the creative juices.  Or trying to summon them, at least.  I still feel stifled and just plain off... but less so than last week. Little steps are still progress.

The best I've felt so far was last night, when - after a long day of laundry and showtunes - I decided to decorate a pretty shelf we mounted last fall.  I loaded it up with my Disneyland collection.  It was a creative act, and a little out of my ordinary, and it felt... satisfying. 

Thanks again, Dad, for helping us mount the shelf.

Annotated version, for the nerds.

I hope you will you do something that satisfies you today.  Something that helps you take care of you.

Friend Interviewin' Monday, plus a painting preview!

Happy Monday!  A new week has begun, and I am feeling rejuvenated and ready to forge ahead with my various projects. (Particularly my main one, which - as Richard puts it - is "Project Me.")

Lots of ground to cover today!

Weekend Recap
I was an editor's widow this weekend, as Tom was working on a side project - a short documentary - most of the time. I was able to keep busy with a ton of activities, including:

• A Friday night trip shopping trip with my dad, where I managed to style him in the vein of Steve Carrell as styled by Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love.  Brilliantly, I managed not to take a photo of him in his dapper zip-up cardigan and his fedora.
• One last outing with Dad before delivering him to the airport.  We went to my favorite Indian restaurant - Akbar - in Pasadena.  They make some seriously good naan, and Dad & I each ordered our own.  After we finished, we agreed that in the future, we'd only need to order one naan to share.  It's the latest food observation to add to my list of things to remember.
• A birthday party for my friend Ann's two adorable kidlets. 
• A birthday party for my adorable friend Joe.  They played a game that I am MOST DEFINITELY including in an upcoming Supper Club, and I cannot wait to share it.
• A planning session for an upcoming event - which I'm collaborating on with a few other friends who are also bloggers.
• A scoche of cat-sitting for two darling orange cats, Teddy and Peeta.  They were very cuddly.
• An outing to the farmer's market.  Holy cow, it is most definitely harvest season.  I bought some apples, some peaches, some heirloom tomatoes, some swiss chard (to practice recipes for aforementioned upcoming event) and some dinosaur pluots.
• A dinner with friends of ours who are also creative colleagues.

Painting Preview
Several of you (especially my sister) have nudged me for photos of all of the painting my dad and I did while he was visiting.  The room isn't completely ready for prime-time, because the weather has been unseasonably muggy, and the shelves and drawers aren't dry enough to be filled.  So instead, I'm going to post some sneak peek close-ups of a few things, and once all the books and clothes are tucked away in their proper places, I'll do another post with a better view of the room at large.

The wall behind our bed, plus our wrought-iron candle sconce.
It isn't quite this vivid - it's hard to capture perfect colors, even with a nice camera.

  

One of the bookshelves, with our starburst clock.

 
  

Part of our dresser.  This aqua is the same color as our wall - I think it's better captured here.

Friend-Interviewin' Monday
For those of you craving more Supper Club 600, the excellent Alyssa at Double-Chin Diary has posted her own recap of the event, plus an interview with me.  (My first interview! Heh.)  Alyssa is a bright, skilled blogger and I highly recommend you check out some of her entries, especially my personal favorite, "Chunky."  I relate completely to her story of sudden self-awareness brought on by a grandparent's comment.  Head on over and show her some support!

All right, you lovely people.  This is going to be a beautiful week, and I hope that you'll spend it doing good things for yourselves.  I plan to take very good care of me, and I want you to do the same!

Requiem for a Ceiling

I'd like to recite a poem to commemorate the passing of my bedroom ceiling.

Oh, bedroom ceiling, naught where once you'd been,
I shudder when I think of all you've seen.
Though soon we'll have you patched and laced with paint,
For now we must admit: up there, you ain't.


Our very nice new upstairs neighbors found out that the previous condo owners did not, in fact, fix the pipes like we were all told.  Our kittens were fascinated/horrified by the leak coming through the ceiling, and then by the plumbers who cut a person-sized hole so as to fix the neighbors' pipes above.  Oh, multi-family dwellings, you suck.

On the up-side, this means that we have motivation to paint our bedroom after the ceiling is fixed - so I started to consider actually decorating it, too.

We've had the makings for a kick-ass space-age mid-century-mod bedroom for some time.  We've been collecting bit by bit over the years... we've just never gotten around to putting it together.  So I took the opportunity to create one collage of the pieces we have, and a second collage of the pieces we'd like in order to complete it.

It's currently a splattering of thoughtless and dull colors, and we're going with a red/aqua/turquoise/black pallette.

Here are the things we already have:

Clockwise from top left:
Chaise Longue by EQ3
Aqua swirl vase by Crate & Barrel
Retro red duvet by EQ3
Sunburst clock by Timekeeper
Antique dresser refurbished by Zamba in Burbank (yet to be repainted; for colors, see next image)
Wall sconce by Crate & Barrel

   
 Here are the things we still need:

Paint, in four shades.  (We already own bookcases, but we love this painted backsplash idea from Real Simple)
Arc lamp by George Kovacs
Pillow slipcovers by Etsy artists kainkain and sassypillows

   
I'm hoping that these collages - and the ceiling disaster - will help me get my butt in gear, because I really respond to whatever space I'm in. Creative spaces make my brain feel creative.  Cluttered spaces make my brain feel cluttered.  And I have a lot of creative work to do, and no room for cluttered thinking!  So here's hoping this helps me boost my creative juices.  It'll be a couple of weeks before we can get everything in place, but I'll follow up as soon as we do.

How about you?  Do you have any home projects that are hanging over your head?  How do you motivate yourselves to get down to business (without, say, ceiling waterfalls?)

Okey-dokey. I'm off to do some work of my own.  Back tomorrow with some flashy fashions... and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing!  'Til then, take care of you!