I'm still behind. And I want to get this post out of the way because I have a post that I'm genuinely excited about to write today. This post... I don't want to write it. But I'm going to write it. Because one of the most important parts of my journey to better health can be described with one VERY important word:
HONESTY.
Without honesty, I might still be secretly eating.
Without honesty, I don't have to remind myself where I've been, where I want to go, and where I am on that path.
Without honesty, I could be choosing to subconsciously punish my mistakes with more mistakes.
Without honesty, others who are on their own journeys would get a flawed picture of what it's like for me to be on mine.
Without honesty, I would break the trust between myself and my loved ones. Myself and my readers. Myself and MYSELF.
Without honesty, I could continue on a path of not taking care of myself, because I'd be duping myself - and others - that I was.
But you know what? I don't WANT to be on a path of not taking care of myself.
Let's get rid of the double-negatives in that sentence.
I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
And nothing... no stress, no projects, no passion, no work, no people, no emotion, no NOTHING... is going to get in the way of taking care of myself.
So here is the truth. Here is my honesty.
I work really hard to lose weight. Really, really hard.
This week, I didn't work hard enough. I gained 3 pounds. I did so by letting myself get wrapped up in a project I loved, and putting that project before myself. I did so by being mindless about food. I did not take the time to follow my plan or get to the gym or track what I ate. And later, I let myself get down and stressed, and leaned on my addiction to get through it.
And that's not OK.
I'm having a hard time not beating myself up about it. But that usually leads to the whole subconsciously-punishing-mistakes-with-other-mistakes thing I wrote about above. So, instead, I'm just being honest. And I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off, and keeping on this life-long journey of taking care of me. I have plans, checks-and-balances, in place to help me as I work through this. And I know I can do this. I am fighting for me.
Your honesty inspires others. Your honesty lends you an opportunity to change a setback. Your honesty shows that you are human. Your honesty gives you the strength to share that vulnerability with your readers.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty makes us root for you...and ourselves. :)
It is impossible to be perfect. Everyone knows that, but I have made some bad decisions about things I can't fix or go back and change. It's really discouraging and I get so mad at myself. I know the past is done and I can't get a do-over, but it feels like my regret keeps me from fully embracing the future. You don't do that to yourself, Heidi! I love that about you and aspire to be that way myself. I admire your determination to continue on the journey you have planned. I can't wait to see the post you are excited about writing!
ReplyDeleteRena, I love your comment. Ditto from me.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteI love this post. You are so ridiculously awesome. And thank you for your honesty. You are a weight loss ninja, but you are also human -- and we all have set-backs. You inspire me so much!
We all screw up sometimes... No one is perfect. You'll bounce back soon enough and get back on track!
ReplyDeleteI finally went for a jog this morning- the first time in ages. I'm finally starting to get out of my unhealthy slump and that's partially inspired by you and your amazing blog :)
P.S. I still have a ton of entries to catch up on... Will do soon! Looking forward to it :)
ReplyDeleteI have to applaud you for this blog. You are being honest and open about it and claiming your faults. That's a HUGE thing! You acknowledged it and can learn from it and are moving on. Keep that head up!
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